


The Light In the Darkness

by Mrsxfredweasley



Category: Marvel
Genre: Body Shaming, Cheating, Depression, Eating Disorders, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:07:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27813547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrsxfredweasley/pseuds/Mrsxfredweasley
Summary: On the worst day of your life, the best people in it come to save you.Warnings of eating disorders, cheating, body shaming
Relationships: James Bucky Barnes/reader/Steve Rogers
Comments: 5
Kudos: 34





	The Light In the Darkness

You weren’t surprised when you walked in on him with another woman. He’d been saying for months now that you didn’t look as good as you used to. You had been trying your hardest, training with the Avengers every chance you got. You didn’t know a thing about hand to hand, you never needed it before, but since all you had were your healing powers, Steve thought it would be a good idea to train with the team.

You had just come from the compound when you found him with that girl. No, that **model.** She was beautiful, skinny where you weren’t, perfect lips, tanned body, everything you wished you were.

You hadn’t always looked at yourself as fat. You were just built bigger. You thought your curves had looked good and your clothes all clung to the right spots. But it wasn’t good enough for your boyfriend. He would sneak in snide comments when you were eating like ‘Are you going to eat all that?’ or ‘You already weigh enough, why are you eating more?’

When you came home that afternoon and walked into the bedroom, you saw them in the bed together and all your clothes packed in bags by the closet. They hadn’t even stopped fucking when you came in. The girl looked at you and smiled, biting on your boyfriends’ ear.

“What are you doing?” You said softly. He turned to you and smirked.

“Come on now, you didn’t really think I’d stay with you forever did you? Not when I can be with someone as hot as Gabby here.”

You shrunk back against the wall, trying to find the right words to say. “Is this the first time?” You asked, afraid that already knew what the answer was. You got it when they started laughing, and you headed for your bags, listening to them groan in the background.

Once all your stuff from the bedroom was in the living room, you pulled a spare suitcase and started taking your family pictures off shelves, and all the little knick knacks you had picked up over the years. You grabbed everything you could think of, your movies, computer, chargers, your mom’s blanket you got after she died. Everything from the bathroom was shoved into the suitcase and the last stop was the hall closet where you kept the box of your parent’s things.

You took a look around the apartment one more time and tears streamed down your face listening to the noises coming from the bedroom. You dragged everything into the lift and down into the lobby, but you realized you didn’t know what to do. You didn’t have a car, you usually just borrowed one from the compound if you needed one but Wanda had dropped you off today.

You did the only thing you could think of. You called Steve. It only rang once before he picked up.

“Hey sweetheart, what are you up to?” He asked. You had always thought it was sweet that he and Bucky had special little names for you.

“Hey Steve, I’m uh really sorry to bother you, but is there any way you can come pick me up? And can I also please stay at the tower?” You asked, your voice cracking.

There was a pause before Steve spoke. “Sweetheart…what happened.”

You couldn’t stop the tears as you tried to explain what happened. “David broke up with me, or well he didn’t say those words but after what I just saw I don’t need him to.” You sobbed.

“I’m on my way.” Steve told you before hanging up.

It didn’t take him long to get there, the compound wasn’t that far from your apartment. You lifted your head from your knees when you heard the door open and your eyes widened when you saw Steve was not alone. Bucky was with him, jaw clenched when he saw the sight of you.

“I’ll kill him.” Bucky growled, heading for the lift. You stood, stepping in front of him and putting your hand on his chest.

“Bucky, please don’t.” You said almost at a whisper. Bucky looked down at your broken form and his face softened. He pulled you to him and led you back over to Steve who was looking at your things,

“Is this all of it sweetheart?” He asked. You nodded against Bucky’s shoulder.

“Everything that matters anyway. Can we go please? I don’t want to be here anymore.”

“Of course we can doll, come on, let’s get you in the car.” Bucky told you, leading you outside and into the passenger’s seat while Steve put all your stuff in the trunk. The ride back to the compound was quiet, save for your quiet sobs. Steve gave a worried glance back at Bucky who was sitting behind you and he shook his head, silently letting him know not to push. You would talk if you wanted to.

They got you set up in a room at the compound and once Bucky and Steve were done bringing in your things, they stood in the doorway while you sat on the bed.

“Sweetheart we’re having dinner and a movie in a little while if you want to join us okay.” Steve sad softly. You nodded, your head resting sideways on your knees. You heard them leave and you laid back, letting all the tension out and just crying. Three years. Three years down the drain. Three years where you could have been happy with someone who loved you for who you were.

You wished your healing powers could heal a broken heart.

Steve and Bucky were sad when you didn’t come down for dinner and a movie, but they understood. You just needed time. There was a soft knock at your door and Steve told you that he was leaving something to eat out there for you, and that if you needed anything, he and Bucky were just across the hall.

You waited until you heard the footsteps disappear down the hall before you opened the door to get the food. It was two slices of pizza and a water, and you admitted you were hungry when you sat on the bed with it.

Once you finished it, you stared at the empty plate you realized that maybe you shouldn’t have eaten that much, so you ran to bathroom, dropping in front of the toilet and shoving your fingers down your throat. It wouldn’t have been the first time you’d done it, in fact, you’d been doing it on and off since David had been making comments about your weight.

And that’s how it went for the next few months. You would eat a little of each meal, make an excuse to sneak back to your room, and it would all come back up. You trained harder with the team and slowly you started noticing your body getting thinner. You had to go shopping to get new clothes since yours didn’t fit anymore.

Bucky and Steve noticed something was off with you so they decided to stop by your room after dinner to ask if you wanted to go out and see a movie. You would curse their super hearing later, because they definitely heard you throwing up in your bathroom.

Bucky was the first one to burst in, coming to the doorway of the bathroom, looking down at you. “Are you okay doll?” He asked.

Your head snapped up and you quickly grabbed the wet washcloth and wiped at your mouth. “I’m fine Bucky, just not feeling well I guess.”

Steve was standing behind Bucky in the doorway, hands in his pockets. “You’re not though, are you sweetheart?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Steve.” You said, getting up and pushing past them into your room. You swayed just a little, lightheaded from getting up too fast, and Bucky put his hands on your arms to steady you.

“What is Stevie talking about doll?” He asked. You put a hand to your forehead and sat on the bed.

“It’s nothing really.” She lied. She knew that Steve knew, or at least maybe had some sort of idea.

“You always come back to your room after you eat, and I’ve noticed you training way more than you need to in the gym. You’ve also lost quite a bit of weight sweetheart and I’m worried about you.”

Damn Steve and is perceptiveness. You looked down and pulled at a string on your blanket, too embarrassed to look at either of them. You knew what you were doing was wrong, but you couldn’t stop. This was the only way you could think of to make yourself thinner.

“Doll, look at me.” Bucky commanded softly. He took your hands in his and when you looked up at him, his face softened at your tears.

“You’re making yourself throw up, aren’t you?” Steve asked softly. You looked down again and nodded.

“Oh sweetheart, why would you do that?” Steve asked.

“I just wanted to be thinner, I didn’t want to look like this anymore, it’s the reason David left me. I wanted to be beautiful for the next guy I’m with.”

“How long?” Bucky asked. You had never really told them the whole story about what happened with David. You told them you came home and found him in bed with someone else but you never told them what he said to you or how he had treated you prior to that. You had to stop Bucky from going to murder him when you told him what happened.

“I started a little over a year ago, when David started making comments about weight. That I should work out more with the team, eat heathier. And I tried, but it didn’t seem to work. This was the only thing that worked. I know it’s wrong, but I couldn’t stop. I just wanted to be better.”

Steve took one of your hands from Bucky’s lap and brushed a strand of hair form your face with his other. “Sweetheart, you are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid my eyes on.” He said.

You shook your head. “You’re just saying that.”

“No doll, we’re not. We’ve thought you were beautiful since the day we met you.” You glanced over at him shocked. They couldn’t think that you were beautiful. You weren’t that lucky.

“Why did you not say anything?” You asked.

“You had a boyfriend sweetheart, we thought you were happy. If we had known…we would have never let him treat you like that.” Steve told you.

“You do you guys care about me so much?”

“Sweetheart, we’ve wanted you since day one. You are so beautiful. Please believe us when we tell you that.”

You looked over at Bucky and he was nodding, grinning like a doofus. He leaned in and rested his head against yours. “We want you to be ours princess, and we promise that we will treat you like gold. We will take care of you, trust us please.”

You closed your eyes, thinking about it. Was this really happening. Did these to gorgeous men in front of you really want you? And they liked the way you looked? You took in a deep breath and nodded.

“Okay.” You whispered.

You felt Bucky lean forward and his lips press against yours softly. You were shocked at first, and when you let out a little gasp, Bucky kissed you deeper and it was like your whole body lit up. David had never kissed you like this, with so much passion.

Bucky smiled against your lips and slowly pulled away, looking down at you with such adoration you thought you might explode. Steve cleared his throat and you both looked at him.

“Bucky.” He whined. “I told you if we ever got the chance to kiss her I wanted to go first!” Steve pouted and you thought it was the cutest thing ever.

“Sorry punk, couldn’t help myself, I wanted to know what she tasted like.” Bucky said, making you blush. Steve ran a hand up your arm and shivers went down your spine.

“I want a taste too.” Steve said softly, leaning in and capturing your mouth. Sparks went off all over your body just like with Bucky and you knew you were in trouble.

Months went by, and while it was a struggle to get better, Steve and Bucky were constantly by your side, being your rocks, and you knew that you wouldn’t have been able to get better without them. They always ate with you, then kept you busy after, making sure that they kept your mind off it.

It took some times, many nights of tears and frustration, but you got there, You were doing much better and were so in love with the two men, but too afraid to say anything. Your boys beat you to it though. You were lying in a naked tangled mess between them, Bucky’s head on your chest, your hands running through his hair, Steve at your side, his hand laced with Bucky’s on your stomach.

“I love you sweetheart.” Steve said softly. You glanced over at him with an open mouth. Bucky leaned up and glared at Steve.

“Stevie we said that I would tell her first.”

Steve smirked. “That’s what you get for kissing her first jerk.”

You laughed, kissing them both. “I’m just mad I didn’t say it yesterday when I wanted to.”


End file.
